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Who Knew?: A Miscarriage Memoire 

11/9/2016

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When I've really become invested in a book, the end of the story doesn't bring as much resolution to the plot line as the author may have intended. When I've imagined these characters for the length of a novel and grown to love them, the end of the story is a loss. I spend several days longing to read more and wondering what that character might be doing in their fictional world, had the story continued. It's a sentimental, shallow desire to know more about this friend I've gotten to know for the few weeks I've been reading about them. I know in my head that the character isn't real, but I wish he was.
That's absolutely, positively NOT what it feels like when you have a miscarriage.


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God the Utilitarian?

11/7/2016

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​I am a utilitirian at heart. I want to fix everything and I want to do everything efficiently. I have found that while utilitarianism can provide some much needed perspective at times, I have also found that I feel a profound tension between the embracing of this view and the throwing off of it. 
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On the one hand, it seems that being utilitarian is very detrimental in many ways. First, and most obviously, it can be harmful to relationships. Many men share my utilitarian leanings and fail to listen to their wives. Rather than allow their wives to be heard, husbands try to fix problems and end up creating more tension. At the same time, the old saying "the ends justify the means"  - an apt summary of utilitarianism followed through - seems obviously wrong in a universe where objective morals exist. Nobody wants to live in a world where all that  is deemed  right is determined by what works. In such a society, forced euthanasia, infanticide of children with particular disorders, sterilization of certain groups, etc - would not only be enacted, but they would be the reasonable thing to do. 

But at the same time, utilitarianism seems like an absolutely Christian notion to me. In fact, it seems like one of the most Christian conclusions one could ever draw, for when God created, he called his creation very good. It was as he intended.  And when God redeems, it is and will be very good again. God is a God of order and made the world to work. So it seems as though when one finds something working, they have found something good. It is the footprint of our God of order. ​

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    *The views and ideas on this site are in no way affiliated with any organization, business, or individuals we are a part of or work with. They're also not theological certainties. They're simply thinking out loud, on issues and difficulties as I process things.

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