 | Lesson 3 - Perspective: One woman we helped had an extremely tragic story - much of which was relayed in the "terrible lives" section found in part 2. We really extended ourselves in all areas to help her. We were on call and made at least one midnight trip out to a questionable job site where we got her out and away from some individuals and situations that we thought were not good. |
We frequently drove across the county to get her situated in a home. We invited her to meals. We met with her fiance on a number of occasions at the prison, and were the ones to pick him up on the morning he was released. We gave her furniture. We gave her Kroger vouchers. We gave her kitchenware. We completely spent ourselves financially and emotionally. I remember one day, deep into the process, when we went over to the woman's house and saw the items she had purchased at the store with the Kroger vouchers we had given to her. Name brand stuff. Unnecessary stuff. It was pretty frustrating to think about how much farther the money could have gone, and I knew that a week into her two week grocery stipend, she would be calling and saying she needed more money. I wondered if it was really a good thing to give to such an irresponsible person. After all we had done for her, her thoughtless actions seemed absolutely inconsiderate.
BUT...
BUT...
I had fallen into the same pit into which teachers can easily fall. Rather than teach the skills I expected, I assumed that certain skills and expectations had already been acquired and understood. Who doesn't know how to shop wisely? But when I took Catalina with me one evening, she and this woman connected, and Catalina told her we were going to take her shopping. Rather than just give her funds with which to shop, we shopped alongside her. When we were at Kroger, Catalina basically treated her like a little kid. This wasn't at all done in a patronizing way, but in a gentle, loving way, going in with the assumption that the woman knew absolutely nothing about shopping. The woman was so excited to learn. To my amazement, she had never seen the price per ounce information at Kroger. She didn't know how to compare prices! She couldn't do simple math! She could compare one listed price to another, but had no way of using size information or the given information by Kroger to figure out what the best deal was. I was so embarrassed. In my haste to be a dumb, lazy, problem solving guy - I just wanted to resolve what on the surface, seemed to be the issue - the woman's material problem. For all the effort and work I had prided myself on in this woman's life, this situation really pointed out how deep my selfishness ran. I was trying to check off a box, solve a problem, and accomplish a goal, I was not trying to love and get to know a soul.
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