​"Those immigrants..." "That beggar..." "Oh, it's them..." You don't need me to fill in any more details to understand the tone conveyed in these statements. "Those," "that," and "them" are pieces of language, which when implemented, are usually very descriptive words in and of themselves. We don't need any more descriptors to know how the user feels about a group. While we can use these words to specify just about anything - positive or negative - we generally use different terms when discussing the positives. We tend to use "those," "that," and "them" as a distancing tool when speaking of people, as it removes us from an individual or a group. Sometimes our desire to distance ourselves stems from our feelings of superiority (e.g. "I would never date that guy."), and sometimes it is a distancing which stems from fear (e.g. "Those immigrants want to take our jobs").  ​

Catalina and I have spent the last week at an MTW training called "Living in Grace." It's been a fantastic time of self-reflection, conviction, refreshment, and growth. At our first small group session, we were each asked what we wanted to get out of the week - what we needed most. That question triggered in me a quest to figure out how to achieve something I have longed for my whole life - feeling the presence of God. What better place to seek and find such a thing than at a retreat full of seasoned missionaries pouring their wisdom into us?

It may be surprising to those who have known me for some time - but expressing emotions is very difficult for me. I have no problem sharing very deep details from my life, but I do have a problem showing the emotions that accompany those details. I like for the content of my speech to remain detached from the content of my face. While part of this is just a preference for style and makes delivery of my dry humor much better, I'm sure there are some deep psychological issues that are behind this. Unfortunately, MTW's psychologist couldn't figure that out, as he told me "I've been doing this for a very long time, and you are the first person I've met who I can't read." Maybe I can be someone's dissertation one day.

Catalina has written a bit about how God has illuminated various areas of sin in her life through the process of moving out into full time missions. While I would love to sit back and ride on the coattails of her admissions and openness, I think it's important for me to step into the light as well, sharing what God is doing in my heart - behind my stoic facade. ​

Before watching the video to the left, take a breath. A deep breath. Hopefully wherever you are you can enjoy a moment of lovely silence - because it's about to be broken. 

Okay, now enjoy the video. 

I'm so thankful to have a husband who helps me laugh during those overwhelming, terrible moments of complete toddler and infant chaos, whose first thought is to whip out his phone camera to document the Crazy, knowing that one day we might actually miss the Baby Crazy days. But I'm thankful for that only in those rare good moments when I'm able to recognize God's blessings in my life. ​