Perspectives Pt. 2

​​Lesson 2 - Terrible Lives: On top of everyone having all the church lingo, almost all who have come to us for assistance have had unimaginably terrible stories. My house burned down. I didn't have renter's insurance. Then my daughter was violated. My mom went to the hospital. Dad died while mom was in the hospital. Mom now needs surgery and doesn't have insurance. 

We just found out dad's life insurance was dropped before he died and we can't pay for anything. We can't afford a deposit on an apartment but we need one because of the fire. Our previous landlord won't return our old deposit. My fiance is in jail. I need transportation to look for a job and visit my fiance. The people I used to run around with and do drugs with are now hounding me to get back in with them. I messed up and did some drugs again - now I need help... The story could go on and on and on. That's par for the course with many who come in to see us. The above would be one of the more extreme cases, but it's not completely unusual or too far off for most. People tell some sad stories, and it just doesn't compute with me. Many times, my initial thought is, "yah, right." Just like I feel used with all the Christian jargon everyone tends to use, I feel like tragedies just get piled one on top of another in these stories to garner more and more sympathy until they think we'll cave. Or, if tragedies do abound, I wonder what the individual has done to get themselves into some of these circumstances. I just feel used and cynical. 

BUT...

On the logical side, I understand that there are people out there who have these kinds of chained events happen. I also understand that these individuals would get funneled towards ministries like ours, because we seek to help people in dire circumstances. So while situations of this sort may be rare, it makes sense that a ministry like ours would run into these of stories in high number. The fact that I have been so blessed with material blessings, peaceful circumstances, and a support network with great depth, should by no means lead me to assume the worst of those whose lives have been marked by great struggling and suffering. 

At the same time, just like with the jargon, it should make me more sad than angry that those who do hyperbolize their miseries would feel the need to pile fake stories on top of real, already tragic ones. There are always very large grains of truth behind all of the tragedies that come our way. Unfortunately, those who come to us often seem to feel as though their story has to be more tragic than the last one we heard, or they have to tug on our heart strings harder. There have been many attempts at guiltedness waged against me - involving kids, eviction notices, and even a picture of a dead relative in a casket on someone's iPhone. It should make me sad that the real, mundane struggles of raising kids, finding a job, pushing back against a rough upbringing, or trying to escape learned helplessness aren't enough of a story for those who seek help to feel legitimate in their request. Everyone who has come to us has needed help in some form or fashion. The real need may not have always been monetary, but there has always been a need. My heart should break at the way I and other Christians have made the needy feel illegitimate in their plight, as well as the way we have discounted needs that transcend the physical, material realm.