All of those check marks have been penned just since May 1st. We've been praying for God to make it clear to us what He would have us do by May 18th - meaning, in our heads, what we should do about buying one-way versus round-trip airfare for our Belgium training coming up. And we're now $285 of monthly pledges away from being fully funded and cleared by our mission agency to buy our one-way tickets. But wow, He has made so much more than just that clear to us.
Even if God did something crazy tomorrow and totally rocked all of our plans. Even if God totally halted our entire trip for Romania tomorrow. Even if everything changed tomorrow. Even then, I would be so very grateful for the past two years I've had on this support-raising journey. Because God has used it to make so many things clear to me that I didn't even really know were fuzzy.
Like how faithful He is to provide.
Like how much He is crazy in love with us just because we're His children.
Like how powerful He is to accomplish what He purposes for our good.
Like how He uses everything to build up our souls to rely more on Him and thus find more joy than we ever thought imaginable.
Like how much He wants us to learn to rely on Him more than all the talents and skills He gave to us.
Like how painfully incapable I am of doing any of this on my own.
Like how terribly inadequate I am, yet it is in my weakness that He is strong through me.
Like how important it is to rely on the Body of Christ to uphold you.
Like how beautifully hard it is to humble oneself and rely on others to support you.
Like how amazing He is at orchestrating the most random events that accomplish His plans.
Like how much more He knows what I need than I do.
Like how I don't have to earn His love for me but that He gives it to me as a completely free gift.
Like how unimportant and how NOT a hurdle money is to Him.
Like how He is still in the business of working miracles, the least of which is changing my stubborn heart.
So we have two more days to meet our goal. And we still need $285 in monthly pledges to be at 100%. I have no earthly clue where that money is going to come from. I don't know whose heart He is going to randomly stir to join our team - both because we need the support and because that person needs to be involved in what God is doing in Romania for whatever ordained reason. But I know He will accomplish His purposes.
He has already grown my faith so much in the past two years, and specifically the past ten months. I am so grateful for that. And I pray that each of you will be faithful to remind me of these moments of clarity of God's love for me when I inevitably hit the valleys again and doubt my God.
Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.
And thank you.